What Is Masking — And Why It Happens

Masking is often described as the act of hiding or suppressing natural behaviours to fit into neurotypical norms. It can involve mimicking social cues, suppressing stimming, or enduring sensory discomfort, often to avoid judgment or exclusion. I must confess, though, that I always shudder a little inside when I hear the phrase 'masking'. I think this is because, to me, the phrase can be used with a judgmental tone, like it's some kind of underhanded action or form of deception. The reality of course is that it is neither of these things. Predominantly, I believe, it is a safety mechanism, often unconscious that can keep a person from feeling both external and internal judgment. For some, it can be a literal safety mechanism, keeping someone from standing out as different and avoiding negative behaviours from others, such as bullying or worse.

Whilst masking can be very helpful in allowing us to “blend in,” it often comes at a cost and can lead to:

• Chronic stress and anxiety
• Emotional exhaustion and burnout
• Loss of identity and self-esteem

Coaching as a Space to Unmask

Neuro-affirming coaching provides a safe space to explore identity, needs, and boundaries. It supports clients to reconnect with their authentic selves and develop strategies for wellbeing.

Key coaching themes include:

• Recognising masking patterns across settings
• Identifying early signs of burnout
• Building sensory regulation and recovery routines
• Practising confident self-advocacy

Unmasking is not about abandoning professionalism — it’s about aligning work and life with one’s true cognitive and sensory profile. It is also about exploring where the safe places are and beginning to feel more confident to show up there as your authentic self.

What Organisations Can Do

Employers play a crucial role in reducing masking and burnout. Neuro-inclusion training helps teams:

• Recognise signs of masking
• Create sensory-friendly workspaces
• Offer flexible communication and feedback
• Encourage authenticity without pressure

When employees feel safe to unmask, they’re more likely to contribute fully, stay longer, and support others to do the same.

Final Thoughts

Unmasking is a journey — layered, personal, and often emotional. Coaching offers tools and encouragement for anyone ready to explore life beyond the mask. Organisations that support this journey build healthier, more inclusive cultures.

Quote:

“You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.”

— Unknown (widely attributed)